I think I’ve always had a sense of anxiety and depression and just never knew what it really felt like. I always thought maybe I was just sad or throwing up because I didn’t feel good. I am 20 years old, I’ve come to realize that I was depressed and had anxiety and still do til this day. Substance abuse is a big one for myself though, I think by taking narcotics it numbs me into a way I cannot feel the same way as when I’m sober. I think that’s why I got into them about 4 years ago. I’ve taken temporary breaks but never have stopped. Something happened to me this morning though, I hope it was enough to open my eyes a bit more. It was a very scary time feeling like I was just coming back to life. I hope I can cope in other ways instead of substance abuse, it has never done anything for me except for mess things up. I always thought it was my way of escape but I’m hoping to find the courage to not use that as my escape anymore. It’s a hard hard thing substance abuse like I said it’s been 4 years. If you’re reading this and you have anxiety or depression, whatever you have going on just know substance abuse is never the way out. You will find yourself in a worse position than you’ve ever thought you might have.
