I’ve dealt with depression at a very young age and still struggle now. When I was 11, I was diagnosed with a bone cancer and had a year of chemotherapy. Towards the end of my treatment, I was faced with a big decision on losing my leg or keeping it, but have a high chance of having cancer. Well, I decided to have a prosthetic, and throughout middle school and high school I became very insecure about it. I also struggled with drug addiction in middle school and high school since I was on lots of pain meds for chemotherapy. I started trying to self-diagnose myself and only made things worse. Until I was professionally diagnosed with MDD, which is a major depressive disorder. It affected me very heavy, as nothing was enjoyable anymore. Every day just felt blank. My emotions would start to feel blank, and I lost touch with myself. I started hallucinating and hearing things that weren’t real. My mistake was not opening up and dealing with my problems correctly. Instead, I tried self-diagnosing with drugs which made everything worse. I was also diagnosed with PTSD from growing up in bad neighborhoods getting my home shot at and being in fear for my life. I really could relate through music, and it inspired me to start a new clean journey. Juice Wrld and X we’re huge inspirations to me so much that they influenced me to be open about my emotions because hiding them only damages myself. I’m still currently focusing on being clean and opening up. It’s hard when you feel like nothing makes you happy. The moral of this is through hardships and dark times please open up. Talk to someone and don’t self-diagnose. Get proper help because the first step is always the best step. Once you push yourself to get what you need, it might be hard right now but down the line you’ll learn how to cope with emotions properly. And always count your blessings because you never realize what you have until it’s gone. Find other ways to escape instead of drugs. Do music or art or do something that benefits you. Love yourself. It’s a blessing to be here you’re special. You just have to find that purpose.
