My name is Sidney, and I’m 20-years-old. I’ve definitely had my fair share of experiencing hardships throughout my life. Let me first off start by saying my life hasn’t always been easy, but really, whose life is easy? I was born with a rare eye condition called “Keratectasia,” which means bulging corneas of the eyes. The front halves of my eyes are abnormal. When I was first born, and the lights were off in the room, I’d try to open my eyes, and they’d look like they were going to fall back in their sockets. At 5 days old, I was having what would be my first of many eye surgeries. I’ve had 30 major eye surgeries, 10 cornea transplants, and been put out over 75 times. I started learning how to read and write braille from a young age, but growing up, I had a lot of obstacles I had to face. One of them was school. School was hard socially for me. I would sit at the lunch table, and hear kids talking about how they were gonna go to a game with their friend, or have so and so over to their house, but here I was, the kid that didn’t really get invited places and just felt very alone. My toughest years were junior high. I I grew to like math, but hated science. I’d have anxiety over science tests, to the point where I’d cry before I took a science test. I love English, and love writing. I’ve also been in choir for as long as I can remember, and remained in the choir even throughout high school. I was in band up until the 5th grade.
I’d say my cope is music and talking out my emotions whether it be to friends, family, or anyone I trust. I don’t have any diagnosed depression or anxiety, but I know those are natural psychological feelings, and I have experienced them before.
I was 13-years-old when I first heard of Jarad (Juice Wrld.) That was in 2018.
I remember thinking: “He just sings about drugs, smoking and drinking.” I was just getting into rap a little bit but not much. I was mostly a fan of country, gospel / Christian, early 2000s pop hits, and stuff like that. But as I got older, maybe around 15, I really started listening to his lyrics more. They weren’t just lyrics about just drugs. They were way, way deeper than that and have much more meaning.
In the 8th grade, I felt a calling to be a social worker or do something to help others, maybe something along the lines of counseling. That passion still has not left me, and I’m actually in college now, at a university. I listen to Jarad (Juice) all the time. Listening to him reminds me of just what I might experience during my job, and I’ ‘ve always loved helping people. I’m going to major in social work, and even get my master’s. I’m sure there are plenty of social workers working for this organization, but God only knows it’s a much needed field and it’s only increasingly going to be a much needed field.
I really hope that my story, along with so many others out there, reminds people you can keep pushing forward even when it’s tough. Use your resources and reach out to the ones you trust. Conversation helps so much. We’re all in this together.
