I used to be that big kid, people wouldn’t make fun of me but they would talk about me. Ever since 6th grade I’ve been self conscious about myself, and that’s when I started smoking and doing other shit. Eventually something happened and I would start to feel ashamed when I ate because of my size. About two years ago, I lost about 80 pounds in 2-3 months. I started smoking all day everyday just to feel normal but that only screwed me up more. Eventually I tried taking my life because I saw that was the only escape to my problems. I took over 100 pills, most were blood pressure and antidepressants, but I don’t remember anything else. I’m not sure how I didn’t die that day. There was some reason I didn’t. I feel I was given a second chance, and while that hasn’t made the journey easier, it has made me realize I have a purpose but I just have to find it. I’m 17 now and about to ask out the girl of my dreams. I still smoke but I’m working to get off it. Juice Wrld’s music helped me find motivation in doing better and changing who I am. He made me realize that the good in life doesn’t come to you, you have to find it. No matter where you are or who you are, somebody needs you. It’s just you don’t realize because you think nobody likes you. I’ll be honest, it’s hard to change that way of thinking because it’s so intrusive. But if you want change you really have to want it, because change won’t work if you don’t accept it. I hope everyone has an amazing day. There are people that care about you. I encourage you to let anyone you can trust and talk to know about your problems. It’s not easy fixing problems by yourself. I don’t know who you are but I know what you’re going through and I don’t want that. Reach out to someone.
