I first started using when I was 14 and I was quickly hooked. After that I was constantly looking for something to numb the pain from my depression, and my parents’ ridicule on my life. I was using at school, and more when I got home. This lifestyle led me start doing other things such as leaving at nighttime and climbing onto buildings and considering jumping almost every day. I couldn’t stop, my mind was controlled by my depression and my drug use. Juice’s music was one of the only things keeping me going as I had nobody in my life supporting me. I have hundreds and hundreds of his songs memorized, released and unreleased. I had my first OD in the summer of 2022 when my parents found me in my room, covered in my own throw up in my bed. They did nothing to help me after this as they thought it was an accident when it really wasn’t. I continued drinking and using throughout the summer and then ended up starting high school. At this point I had changed as a person severely. My use of drugs escalated as I continued through school and experimented with new things. Soon after starting school, I OD’d again, this time much worse. My mom watched me hallucinate and stumble around. I woke up the next morning and I knew I needed help. My parents ended up sending me to a residential recovery and treatment program for a month, but it was cut short by me getting in fights and getting kicked out. I arrived back home and instantly relapsed and went back into my old patterns. About a week later, I tried to run away but my dad found me and grabbed me and shoved me in the car. We drove to the hospital, and I was put in the psych ward. Two weeks later I came back home and started online school because I’m on school probation because I missed so much school. Skip to three months later, I’m 15 now and still struggling with depression, anxiety, and cravings but Juice’s music is helping me so much because I can relate to it in so many ways. I’m now sleeping better and doing better in school and even though my mind is a mess I’m still managing to live clean and learn more about who I want to be. Don’t give up, there’s always a better way, you just have to be patient.
