I’m only thirteen years old and I started using drugs at nine because I lost my best friend (uncle). I’ve been around drugs about my whole life. My mom died two years after my uncle and that’s when I stole all of her other drugs she had. I used those drugs then I started smoking more than usual. I didn’t have any problems after I tried to quit, I ended up staying away from the drugs for three or so months. I was already listening to Juice WRLD before my mother’s death and his music helped me with my uncle’s passing. Then about 9 months ago I came back to all of the drugs, I was mostly just smoking then. I started doing self-harm (again) and I started taking pills. I’ve been taking pills for too long and have been thinking about overdosing the past couple of months, but I haven’t because of my girlfriend. The past couple of weeks I’ve been feeling emotionless and worth nothing. I only really feel happy when I’m with her, she’s the one that keeps me feeling safe and loved. I know I’m young but me and her have been together for over 8 months. She’s the one that keeps me from doing self-harm and overdosing, I don’t want her to get mad at me for using pills so I ask her every day if I can take one. She doesn’t like when I even take one, but my addiction makes it so hard to not take anything. If I don’t take any pills or nothing is in my system, then I just feel sick or my body hurts. I need help but I haven’t told my family members. I just need someone to talk to about things but I don’t want to tell my girlfriend because then she worries more. I just need help.