“If anybody is going through anything, I hope and I pray that you get through it. And just know that you have the strength to get through whatever you going through, no matter what it is” -Juice 

Reading all of y’all stories I realize how easy I had it. Thank you for your vulnerability.  I’m Not so good at that. 

I stay quiet most of the time because I’m not good at describing what I’m feeling most of the time. I was always known as the golden child, always happy. But my own family doesn’t know me.. I feel like at least. No one ever has. I fight with fitting in, anxiety, and depression most days. I have many demons that I fight. About 4 years ago I lost everything. I lost my heart, my girlfriend, my everything. I chose drugs over her, my best friends, and most importantly my family. I totaled my dream car, I lost my parents trust and most importantly my relationship with God. I lost myself. I spent every paycheck on pills, weed, and psychedelics. I went into psychosis. It was a very dark time. I blamed myself for it. I gave up my soccer dream. Then when juice passed I fell deeper.  I felt I lost my only friend that I had left. He was the only person I can relate to. It’s weird how you know and love someone like your brother that you never met. He gave me hope. He is proof I am not alone in my darkest times. I realized I couldn’t do it on my own anymore so I asked for help. It was very hard. 3 hours later, my dad dropped me off at a rehab.  I walked out the door on the first one, letting my parents down. So my dad drove me to another, did 4 weeks in the second one fully completing it. I did another 3 months in the 3rd one to show my parents I was good. I didn’t do it for myself at the time. I did it to make my family proud for once. I thought I was good and ready to tackle the world, but I relapsed… a couple times. But my biggest mistakes in life turned to blessings. I’ll wrap this up. Throughout my darkest times, Juice helped me get through it. When I felt my loneliest, he showed me he was right there with me. His music gave me hope. He was very vulnerable and put his soul into lyrics about stuff no other artist speaks about. That’s why I learned a lot through you Juice. You showed me that I wasn’t alone, your pain gave me hope. Thank you man.

Update: 4 years later I’m sober for over a year and I’m serving in the military. Stronger mentally and physically more than ever and improving my relationship with God. I still struggle many battles demons often but that’s everybody I guess. We gotta keep going. 999 forever. 

Thank y’all for sharing y’all stories.

Text LF999 to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line for free crisis counseling.
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