Where do I begin, I was born in the Bronx New York for anyone that doesn’t know it’s a pretty rough neighborhood. Gangs, drugs, murder is something that seems normal. When I was about 4 my earliest memories are of my father indulging in cocaine high enough to leave me in strangers houses while he got high while my mother worried about where her 4 year old son was only for us to return home and then the beatings began. My sister was born with nager syndrome, a pretty rare disability. I would hold her close as my mother would scream fighting my father back from the vicious beatings. My earliest memories in life are alone and scared. This continues until I am 18. My mother with no job skills and a mentally disabled daughter had no choice but to stay and endure the beatings for children, as my father was well paid enough to put food on the table living in our Bronx apartment. Graduating high school I then turned to Xanax to make life easier numbing the pain of taking enough to black out with friends with girls one thing in life God bless me with was a pretty face. As life continued my fathers abuse relaxed with age but would still happen from time to time. Swearing I would never be like my father. But somehow I found myself using drugs to hide. Then at 23 a artist named juice wrld I discovered seemingly speaking to my soul with his lyrics. As we both were sagittarius, my birthday was December 8. My drugs of choice were Percocets, Roxy. The bliss and security the blue 30s gave me were unmatched to anything I felt in my life. Listening to juice made me feel not so alone knowing others struggle with the evil demon that roxy is like a woman who’s no good for you but you love. His words helped me find strength in my life, because life can be very beautiful. It’s all about perspective. Until December 8 my birthday Juice WRLD passed.I was so angry not to be corny I never personally knew him but I felt like we were alike in many ways. Till this day I look for strength As life can be dark but it can equally be as bright. Till this day, I’m trying to find a way to get my mother away from my father, safe in her own home. to this day I struggle with my Percocet addiction. I refuse to let my demons have me. I refuse to leave my mother alone. Never stop fighting. Tunnel me the dark. But there’s a bright light at the end. I’m still trying to get to my bright light. I will keep fighting until I’m there. Never give up. 999
