When I was sixteen, I became friends with someone through my classmate/neighbor. He was very friendly and genuine. We became attached at the hip for ten years. He was very conscientious, and we did a lot together. Being around him has been some of the best times of my life.
Almost a year ago, in July 2021, Justin passed away. Unfortunately, it didn’t come as a huge shock. I lived with him for six months and watched his health (mostly mental) go downhill, despite myself, my parents, and another friend supporting him emotionally almost full-time.
Not long before us living together, he told me about his neglectful upbringing. I hadn’t known most of this for the first eight years we were friends, but it made sense with the other things I had witnessed in his household when we first met (condition of the house, family member’s attitudes, etc.).
Shortly after his death, my other close local friend started dating someone who has personal issues and doesn’t let him around others. I haven’t seen him for months.
I’m doing my best to scrape together courage and get my life together despite all this. A lot of the time I feel almost completely alone. The emotional stress is astonishing.
I did an internship in finance a year ago, and the VP of the company fell in love with my ability to prospect (sales). I’m writing a letter to see if I can go back there. If this doesn’t work out, I want to become a high school teacher (I’m twenty- eight). I’m also writing music on the side as an outlet.
A lot of the time, it seems like my problems can compound and blow back on me. I’m really trying to stay cool and not come off like I’m needy for attention or companionship. I’ve been through CBT therapy for other issues in my life a few years ago with great success. I’m also on Lexapro.