I’ve struggled with anxiety, depression, and depersonalization for a while, and it messes with a lot in my life. It changed how I think how I talk how I go about my everyday life how, I see things and so much more. I hated the feeling of not being in control of my body, not being able to control my emotions, and things like that. This led to me trying different ways to cope with this, and it ultimately ended up in me using painkillers as an escape because they were the only thing that would silence my brain and make me not feel like a failure. The stress from school, my family, sports and so much more got worse by the week and so did my addiction. My addiction was so bad that during summer I ended up throwing up to the point I was throwing up blood and my body was shaking uncontrollably, and this is what made me realize I needed to stop.  Juice WRLD was the only person who’s music I feel like I can actually relate to, and Juice is the only person who’s always been there and has gotten me through all the things I’ve gone through in my life. This year was extremely hard because late September this year I was in a freak accident while at a wrestling tournament for school, and I was slammed on my neck causing me to be knocked unconscious for a while. I was rushed to the hospital and had to stay there for a week. I had to wear a neck brace for over a month, and just got over a very bad concussion. They said that I had spinal and neck sprains and I’m very lucky to not be paralyzed. Even though I was very thankful to be relatively fine and glad to not have died from the accident, the whole situation was so much to deal with and led me to fall into a deeper depression than I was in before, and I picked up my bad habits again. I pushed away family and friends and would have my AirPods in 24/7, just blasting Juice Wrld and a podcast every now and then. Juice Wrld has always been there for me and I listen to his interviews and read his quotes all the time, and he is the one that pushes me forward and makes me know it’s okay. Even though I was never able to meet him or even go to one of his concerts, I feel like I’m connected to him on a different level because how much his legacy has helped me through life. People like Juice and others and my close friends made me open my eyes and realize I don’t need substances to be happy, and I’ve been sober of everything for over a month now. I’m very proud of it and want to continue for many months more. I want everyone to know they aren’t alone and I want to be able to leave a legacy like Juice did and bless the others around me.

Text LF999 to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line for free crisis counseling.
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