From a young age life was a struggle. I am currently only 16 but I’ve seen a lot more than most people around me. When I was a child, my Mama was nonstop in the hospital due to medical issues and my father wasn’t really in the picture because he was trying to get back on his feet financially. My older brother has ADHD, bipolar disorder, and autism. This left me faced with taking care of the house and my brother. I was probably around 8 years old at this point. I was going to school, coming home, and getting right to work. I had to pay for groceries, pay the electric, the water, the mortgage, everything. As an 8-year-old there isn’t exactly an easy way to do that so most of the time we went hungry and freezing because we live in Michigan. Eventually we became financially stable, but this left me messed up mentally. Losing my chance of childhood caused me to feel depressed to the point I was making suicide threats and had attempted a few times. I finally saw a psychiatrist and I was diagnosed with depression. Now what better thing to do than put a little kid on meds right? I was prescribed meds and therapy. Eventually I hit a point Mentally where I felt my depression was my problem and nobody else’s so I stopped talking to my therapist. I just told her everything was fine, so they thought they cured my depression. I get that was my fault, but it hurt to be abandoned like that. I started getting mixed in with the wrong crowd. I started smoking, taking pills, sipping lean, taking psychedelics. Name it and I have probably done it. I got major addictions and didn’t realize it. I thought I could stop whenever and so I tried. The withdrawals almost killed me. I slowly took less and less and overcame my Codeine addiction as well as Percocet. Keep in mind I do not condone these. I still take certain pills every now and then. I still smoke, and I still drink. I’ve seen half my friends die or get locked up. I started writing music to get my thoughts and emotions on paper. Then I started recording it and became an artist under the name of forgotten ghost. It’s a great way to cope. I stopped being able to sleep and was diagnosed with insomnia, anxiety, and what is known as smiling depression. For those of you who don’t know, Smiling Depression is when on the outside you look stable and potentially look happy, but on the inside you are crumbling down inside. I am still fighting mentally and with addictions, but I have found a way to cope and a support group. Like I said I make music now. I basically just dump my trauma into my music.
