I grew up under pressure of not messing up and being as close to perfect as possible. I went to private schools, so if my grades were bad my parents would put the guilt of me not using the opportunity I was given, which weighed a lot on me. I switched to public school and didn’t participate almost at all from 7th-10th grade. I stopped playing sports in 10th grade due to moving to a new state, and the anxiety around all the new things and people. I wanted a name for myself and the spotlight on me, so I decided to be the craziest person anyone knew, without substances at the time, and would do abnormal insane things. My anxiety and depression was the same, even after getting a girl and a name within 2 months of being there. I started partying and that turned into partying by myself (so much “fun”). I stopped going to school. I was found passed out on my floor in bed unresponsive (still alive just had way too much to drink or taken too much of something) nearly daily. I was scaring my whole family, and was a raging 17 year old, always off the hinges, and was too scared to stop after feeling and living the hell of withdrawals. I ended up going to the mental hospital (for an OD) and 2 rehabs within the span of a year. I’ve now got 7 months sober at 18 years old and in a sober living house 6 hours away from home. I’m building my life how I should’ve been doing. AA and higher power are the only way to get sober (from my experience).