HELLO EVERYONE! My name is Justin, age 25, and I came here to share my story dealing/dancing with my demons of Anxiety, Depression, substance abuse and The Stages of Grief to hopefully help others going through similar situations understand they aren’t alone! High school is where I started to realize my emotions had a really strong voice in my head. It was hard for me to wake up and get ready for school. I would hardly even get ready. I would shower but I would put pajamas on and go to school. My parents took note and were freaking out that I was planning on closing my eyes forever. THAT wasn’t the case! My mom honestly raised me with a good positive mindset. I personally didn’t feel like I could fit in high school. Then I befriended the wrong crowd at one point, introducing me to the wrong path and pressuring me into hard drugs and drinking, close to criminal activity, but THAT was not me. The one thing that i have honestly struggled with is smoking an insane amount of marijuana. Through my crazy teenage years, my parents were struggling with substance abuse of their own. I unfortunately lost my mother in 2015 due to long term substance abuse with alcohol as well as abusing prescriptions. My father was only dealing with alcohol. My mom was my best friend and I confided in her with everything. I was trying to hold myself together and be strong for my pops to show him that if anything were to happen to him, I can take care of the family. Substance abuse is a difficult and frustrating thing to watch people you look up to and unconditionally love, change in personality, and destroy themselves. My family home was becoming more broken by the year, so by age 16-17 I had to leave that house, and unfortunately didn’t have the financial support to take my little sister and I regret that to this day! She became a heroic woman in my life and showed me the light before anyone else did. She grew wings fast and went off to college, stayed straight edge from every substance, even now into her early 20’s. While being away from my family and trying to find out what’s going on in my head and dealing with the loss of my mother, I moved in with my ex of 8 years at the time with her family. To be honest I wasn’t the best person because I was struggling with suicidal thoughts fueled by my anxiety of not amounting to something and feel like I’m letting everyone down every waking second. Grieving is a demon of its own. You’ll have a spiral or whirlwind of emotion from happy to miserable, to feeling lost and alone. When situations happen in rapid motion at a young age they blind you, making you feel like there is no way out or a drowning sensation! You/yourself need to take a deep breath and stand up. KEEP punching your demons down! Cause THE LIGHT WILL ALWAYS Win! I thought smoking the pain away would help, but honestly it made me become more isolated and I let it control me to the point where I was spending all my money on “medicine”. When I realized that is not the key to a successful life, I talked to my friends, made an appointment with a therapist and psychiatrist because I was in DARK abyss. After seeking help, I built a relationship back up with my father. I helped him see the light as well, to finally push him with me while I focus on my life goal. He’s beginning journey of sobriety after many failed attempts and this time it’s working. It’s been 5 months. While I dedicated my time to get to into law enforcement and change my local community with the youth and show it’s possible to do whatever you put your mind to or HEART! BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE! Remember JUST CAUSE ITS NEGATIVE FLIP IT AND FIND THE POSITIVE 999 till the world ends.
P.S. Thank you Juice Wrld for being a voice for me when I felt so misunderstood! I’M ROCKING THE FLAMING SKULL WITH 999 on the back of my leg BIG because I HONESTLY SUPPORT THE MESSAGE! THANK TO ANYONE WHO READ THIS! WE GOT THIS! Let’s spread the message 999.
