Right now, I am a 27-year-old woman. As a kid, I was the happiest kid you have ever seen. I had no worries and no problems. I was always optimistic and appreciative of everything I had.
During high school, a different classmate passed away each year at my school. It was very tragic and I would have small spouts of depression that I couldn’t shake off.
I went through break ups each year in college that caused moments of depression, but still I shook them off. During my senior year of college, I was diagnosed with ADHD.
The real kicker was September 2019, I got in a car accident that did not harm me but caused an emotional trigger in my brain. I became depressed. I would try to shake the depression like I had in the past, but then COVID hit and I knew I could not get out of it this time.
I began seeing a therapist and was also prescribed Citalopram. I was diagnosed with major depression and moderate anxiety.
My depression is hereditary. My mom has depression. My sister has depression and anxiety. Mental illnesses run on my mom’s side of the family, including bipolar and alcoholism.
My sister was already an avid fan of Juice WRLD, and she began introducing me to his music in January 2020. His music resonated with me. He truly expresses the effects of depression and anxiety in ways that no one else can.
If you do not have depression, you will never understand what it is like. I never did before. You always think: “Why can’t you just be happy? Why can’t you get out of it?” But it is impossible. It is a dark abyss that you are stuck in.
Citalopram and therapy have helped immensely. It is now August 2022, and I am now gradually reducing my Citalopram prescription with my doctor’s permission. I know I am still depressed and anxious but maybe not as bad as during the pandemic. We will see how it goes. I can always go back on the medicine if need be, and I am continuing to go to therapy.
My words of wisdom are: You are not alone. Go out and do things that make you happy even if the happiness lasts for a few hours. There is no shame in going to therapy or taking prescribed medication. It truly will help a lot. Remember that Juice WRLD went through what you are going through. He understands. Listen to some of his music to make you feel better. Anything negative can be turned into something positive. Appreciate the positive moments.
🖤999
