Hi I’m Kingsley, I’m 27 recovering from substance, pills addiction.
I started doing drugs when I was in 3rd year in my country educational system. It was hard for me to differentiate between reality and fiction, I’d sleep and wake up with a different reality everyday thinking perhaps I’m better off dead than alive. So many hate and hurtful traumatic events and it all goes down to me yelling out of the blue.
My dad left us when I was young, my mom singlehandedly raised us 3, she’d battle with her job, our affairs and her fears too and she’s so caught up in that heat that she barely realized that her first son was going down the rabbit hole.
A friend saw my anxiety and shared few tips with me, it wasn’t working and over here it cost a fortune to see a therapist and even if you manage to it’s not a one time thing, you’ll have to go over and over.
I’d stay wake throughout the night and by morning my head will hurt so much and that pain is alien so I started chugging in painkillers, it worked for a while and suddenly stopped working. I’ll change brands, types and all of em’ just the same.
Percs, lean, and other narcs aren’t available or marketed around here then but I still managed to get my hands on some painkillers supplies from my mom’s doc friend (I’d steal it). There I started doing Trams, slow-mo drugs and highly prohibited narcs available. Her son was also into that but just fun to him, so we’d hang out and get high.
I can’t allow myself to be off the drugs cause that’s when I’ll started hearing voices and I’ll be so low with suicidal thoughts.
It goes on from 2011 till 2019, I was having my portion (that’s what I call it) the I passed out. Woke up to the doctors face with wires plugged to my chest and nostril and throat. I thought “This is it, I’m going to die”. That was when my mom knew about my ADA (Anxiety, Depression and Addiction). Before leaving the hospital, I’d experience severe pain in my cardiac, the doc said I’ll have to endure and the nurse will just watch till the hour passed. I remember a particular nurse will come to my side and plug her earphones in my ears. At first I was like what!? Cause I have a thing with music, I’d listen to different genre all day just to sooth my pain. Amongst her playlist was Juice WRLD. And I was like God this dude knows what I’m feeling. I started downloading everything I could find called Juice WRLD songs on the internet and since has been my best therapist.
Though I didn’t know you when you’re here, I believe you’re probably an angel up there cause’ you’re GODSENT.
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING J.
