Life’s been getting hard lately and I am trying to hold on. I feel as if I overthink every situation while assuming the worse possible outcome, often an outcome that is irrational. It’s getting harder and harder to overcome, I feel as if I am delusional at times. I’ve been struggling with determining what is true and not true I’m every aspect of my life. My most hurtful delusion was a few months ago when I had suspicions of my girlfriend trying to poison and deceive me. This girl loves and supports me so much and I am so happy to be with her. This really hurt me to think my illness could allow me to think this way.
I have been struggling mentally for a couple years now. I often would self-medicate with weed but I have been trying to cut back. I always wanted to fight this battle on my own because I didn’t know who I could turn to and I often thought mental illness would make me appear weak. I have recently learned that there is nothing wrong with asking for help, everyone needs help and no one should fight this battle alone. I turned to my loved ones, my parents, my girlfriend (who is not poisoning me, as my illness tried to trick me into believing) and most importantly:
MY DOCTOR!
Mental illness is tough to treat, often times your loved ones won’t be able to provide the help that you need. They will provide support which is equally important but when fighting this battle we need help which is where a medical professional is needed. I was prescribed medication recently so I hope this helps me but time will tell and I will be speaking with a psychiatrist in 2 weeks.
I’m confident that I will get better because I asked for help and I am no longer fighting this battle alone.
Don’t be discouraged when asking for professional help. It’s unfortunate but we live in a day in age where there are more patients than medical professionals which leads to longer than ideal wait times to receive the help that we desperately need. I waited to ask for help just before I was about to completely brake so I really wanted help immediately. I had to wait a week to see my doctor and now I’m waiting 2 more weeks to speak with a psychiatrist. This is really frustrating because I need help, I’m asking for help yet I am not receiving it. I initially felt as if I was a burden on others, you know why bother anymore if no one wants to help me? Unfortunately there’s just to many people that are in the same position as us and they deserve to also receive help, so hang in there and please be patient.
If you can’t hold on that extra week or so:
CALL 911 OR VISIT THE EMERGENCY ROOM!
We cannot lose you. You are special and loved.
I hope this helps whoever has read this, I know just putting this out here has been therapeutic for me. Hang in there 🙂 ! As always 999! RIP Juice he’s a legend, my role model and my hero.
