I’m 17 and I’m not diagnosed with anxiety or depression, but I know I’ve have had them for a long time. I live in a toxic household which I really wish I could get out of, but there is no way I can. I have an abusive mother that treated me unfairly and badly since I was very young, and overtime things were getting worse. I started to think of using drugs, but never did because I didn’t want to look back at myself and feel ashamed. I was and currently still suicidal but I don’t want to harm myself for the likes of my mom. I don’t want to love her, but I don’t want to hate her either, so I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do because I have reported her many times and I’m still in her care. She has made me have panic attacks and would hurt me until I was bleeding. Apparently, my sister knew the reason why she doesn’t like me, but I always had an intuition. So currently I’m trying to better myself without her help because she will only make things worse.