I’ve always struggled with my mental health since I was a kid, due to the fact that I was SA at a young age and being bullied a lot from kindergarten up until I graduated high school. My parents really didn’t pay attention to me, and I had nobody to talk to about my feelings so I would just keep to myself. The only thing that would make me happy was listening to music or when I would make my art pieces. Sadly, that wasn’t enough, so my first suicide attempt was at the age of 12. After that, I’ve been hospitalized 7 more times throughout my life due to more failed attempts. Once I hit high school, things got worse because my parents were getting divorced. My dad got abusive & my peers at school would constantly make fun of me. I couldn’t handle it, so by my junior year I turned to abusing Xanax. It got worse once I left high school. I was popping 4 bars at a time just to numb the way I felt. Sadly, I got hospitalized twice within the same month due to overdosing and it wasn’t accidental, so I was sent to a psych ward again. I was planning on staying clean once I was released, which I was for a month, but sadly I relapsed. The Xanax wasn’t doing much for me anymore, so I turned to doing cocaine. I ended up getting hospitalized again due to another overdose. I really thought that was the end of my story, but I managed to pull through and I ended up following through with therapy once I left the hospital. That therapist helped me a lot and she was the only person to actually tell me that I have a purpose in life. I ended up getting back to creating art and enjoying my music again, especially Juice WRLD. I am now 20 years old, I haven’t been hospitalized since the beginning of 2021, and I have been clean since then. I will admit, there are times where I want to relapse when things get hard but I turn to my art and blast some Juice WRLD to remind myself that hard times come but they also go. I want everyone to know it does get better. Yes it will take time but I promise you things do get better.
